Submission and Control Top Pantyhose

There is no doubt that as adults we do not like to be held accountable or submit to authority. I think there is something that is ingrained in us to fight against it.  Even as a young child, I tended to push the boundaries of authority. My only saving grace was that I wanted my teachers and bosses to like me.  I knew that in order for them to like me, I should do what they asked me to.  However, I often submitted with the wrong attitude. 

As I have ‘matured’ or gotten older (gasp), I have recognized that there is a deeper, underlying core belief that I must grab ahold of in order to have access to God’s rich blessing in my life.  That’s submission.  Just the mere mention of that word makes me cringe.  Right?  I am a fully competent woman who knows how to do stuff.  I am surely capable of making things happen on my own. Why do I need to listen to someone else tell me how something should be done? 

I once heard a radio commercial for the air force that has stuck with me:  “Every choice I make has a benefit or a consequence.”  Every choice.  Every single choice. If you were to ask me for one lesson that has framed my life the last 2 years, it would have to be learning the true value of my choices particularly in relation to submission.  The blessings that flow out of a submitted heart are so powerful.  And I’m not talking about the kind of submission that says, “Sure, I’ll do it,” but then grumbles behind the boss’s back.  I’m talking about owning your boss’s idea like it was your own.  I’m talking about realizing that by embracing submission, you bring the favor of the Lord to your life and your work.  FAVOR.  How can we strive for less?   

Submission is a conduit for unity.

The easiest and most common thing for us to do when we get a ‘suggestion’ from our boss is to say ‘yes’, but then grumble and/or not do it once the meeting is over.  I am going to be very bold and say that if you’re doing that then you are wasting your time there.  Don’t fool yourself into believing that God will bless your work.  You are marking time until your replacement gets ready.  I have seen evidence of this in my own life.  I don’t know how many times I have met with my boss, and he has asked me to do something I disagree with.  After I have argued my point and lost :-), I have a choice to make.  What am I going to do? What will my choice be? I have chosen to be submitted. Most times, others don’t even know it’s his idea. I own it like I birthed that baby myself.  And one other thing, on my task list, it’s at the top. I don’t doddle. I am effective and efficient. Then, I call him to let him know it’s done and how I did it. I have made myself irreplaceable and valued.  And in that area of submission, God has blessed my efforts. I have seen because of how I have chosen to act and behave that I have been a conduit for unity in my work environment. To me, that‘s much more valuable than having my own way.

Submission channels humility

Proverbs 18:12

Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor. 

God has used this verse in my life more than any other. Oftentimes, we want to go to others when we feel like we’ve been wronged or misunderstood by our bosses. We need affirmation that they are crazy and we are right.  I believe that when we submit our concerns to God and truly act with humility by keeping our grievances to ourselves, it opens a door of favor (honor) in our lives that is unparalleled.  When we actively engage humility, its trusting God to handle the big stuff. It’s giving Him ultimate control over our lives. And let’s face it, that’s where He wants us to be.  Then, when we ultimately trust Him with that kind of humility and submission, He will bless our socks off.

Submission opens the door for blessings

Most fundamentally, God is not a demander; God is a giver.

When we work with God, God works through us.  You bet I want to work with God.  I have learned that most of the time that means I have to embrace submission.  Really embrace it, and trust that He will work things out through me and in me for His divine glory. 

I'm Not Stubborn. My Way is Just Better.

Change is inevitable.  It happens. We are different today than we were a few years ago. I can easily pinpoint several areas in my life that have evolved in recent years. I've switched from PC to Mac. I read most of my books on an electronic device. I have seen the light and joined facebook and twitter. My hair has even lost that 80's look...although it’s still quite fluffy.

However, if you were to ask me what one of the biggest things that has changed about me over the last few years, I have to say it’s my attitude of being teachable.  If you were to characterize my personality, most everyone I know would say that I am determined and opinionated. I personally believe that won’t ever change. It's who God has made me.  However, I have found that if left unchecked and unconnected with the Holy Spirit, those qualities can very easily move into being inflexible, stubborn, and obstinate…not such great qualities if I am around or leading others.  It's certainly a detriment to my own personal growth. 

My approach to life will always frame the outcome.  Do I want my way or do I want the best way? Am I secure enough to take the advice of others? Do I have a hunger to discover more and grow?  Is there a desire to learn, unlearn, and relearn?  Those are the questions that I constantly have to ask myself. God has placed me in community with others, and not by accident.  If I approach life with the attitude that it’s a journey that is ever changing and ever evolving, and there are others that see things differently than me, then I am set up for success. Being teachable enables God to grow me.  The extra blessing is that He also increases my influence and my effectiveness as I seek the input of others. 

In the end, life is not all about me anyway. It's all about Him and His people.

Let wise people listen and add to what they have learned.  Let those who understand what is right get guidance.                  Proverbs 1: 5

A Control Freak

I like control. If you know me, then that statement is not a surprise. Control brings order. I like to know what’s going to happen, and I like to plan what’s going to happen. Even better than that, I like to plan what’s NOT going to happen! I think people who like to have control have been given a bad rap in society. I recently read that taking control can improve comfort and the ability to get work done and reduce stress. That, in turn, can lead to greater productivity and better health. Imagine, taking control means a less stressful life…at least for the one who likes to control things. That notion has really set me free—free to live in my own little controlled stress-free world.

However, there is a downside when it comes to being a control freak.  When faced with problems that need to be solved or a plan that needs attention, I could very easily make a decision too quickly.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with making snappy decisions. However, it becomes a problem when I don’t take the time to try and find out how God wants me to handle it. 

For as long as I can remember, my goal has been to consistently set aside time in the morning to read the Bible and pray. I have always thought that the early morning time with God would help me climb the mountains that I needed to traverse and to slay the dragons that I needed to conquer.  It's a worthy goal, to be sure. Now, I realize how little that helps me throughout the day.  It’s not the one time event that makes me a successful employee, wife, mother, friend, and control fanatic (just thought I would use a word other than freak for giggles) It’s the continuous attention to remain connected with my Lord throughout the day that will give this control freak a stress-free life.

I know it sounds simple, but I'm learning that I have to constantly be connected with the Holy Spirit for me to be a successful control freak. If not, then, I’m just a freak. 

  

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT)

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Winning!

I am super competitive. Sometimes I can hold it in check, but other times, I just run with it. I once lost a game of Monopoly with my husband.  I hated losing so much that we have never played that game again. Extreme, I know.  That competitive streak extends to other facets of my life as well. I like to win AND I like to be right. Although I like to always be right, I have to admit that there are times when I'm not.  I know. I know. It's shocking. I would also like to tell you that it's not that often, but that would be lying too. So there in lies the rub. No matter where I am in life, what I do, or what title I carry, there are times when I'm wrong. It's just a fact. It's really a non-negotiable. It's going to happen to all of us.  The question that I have to answer is what I'm going to do when I'm wrong?  Greg DePriest, my pastor, came up with this equation:  E + R = O  [Event + Response = Outcome]  Just for the sake of it, we will call it an EVENT when I'm wrong. :-)  It's my RESPONSE to that event that will determine the OUTCOME.  

Too many times, I have seen people who would never admit that they're wrong. I have been that person so many times. You know the problem with that?  It means that the outcome will never change.  I have found that admitting I'm wrong is actually very freeing.  It defuses the situation, and creates a margin for change.  People naturally respond positively to that because there is hope that I won't make the same mistake again. Seth Godin says it this way:  Two elements of successful leadership are a willingness to be wrong and an eagerness to admit it. I pray I can be the kind of person who always sees my own failings because I know everyone else does.  

Humility and fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.   Proverbs 22:4

Do We Settle?

In America, we say we have a culture of creating a great customer experience.  You hear about it a lot. Working at a church, the importance of first impressions is sometimes very weighty.  People are quick to leave a church when it doesn’t feel right to them. After all, there are tons of other options. It’s imperative that we make a great first impression on our guests.

Our culture is an interesting thing. We say one thing, but yet settle for something totally different.  I believe that we are in a precarious time in society.  Are we settling for mediocrity? The real questions I have to ask is, “Do I settle?”  My family went to the movie yesterday. After paying $67 for the movie and popcorn, I began to take in my surroundings a little:  the broken lights in ¾ of the concession signs, the filthy tile, the lifeless staff, and the carpet that I wouldn’t touch with my bare feet.  I couldn’t believe that a business that extracted so much money from me would operate in such a shabby manner.  Then I looked around me. Was I the only one who saw this? Did anyone else notice the popcorn that cluttered the nasty carpet?  Were they annoyed as I was with the lack of respect or honor for my patronage?  However, it was not the first time I went to this theater. It was not like I wasn’t aware of how this particular business operated.  So the question I had to ask was why was I there?  Why did I return and give them my hard earned money?  I had to admit that I settled for their mediocrity. 

I have just finished reading a book on Steve Jobs. Now that man had some issues, but one of the things that I have taken away from his life is his pursuit of excellence.  If I want to achieve great things, mediocrity is not even part of my equation.  I have decided not to settle: not in a business that I visit, not in my work I produce, nor in the way I conduct my relationships.  I invite you to join me.  Don’t settle anymore.  It’s time to expect greatness out of ourselves and others.

My Heart's Desire

There are many things that I think about when I see the phrase, "My Heart's Desire". I want to have a strong, loving marriage.  I want to inspire my kids to change the world.  I want to be successful at all that I do.  The list could be endless. However, I came across something that really spoke to my heart today that I want to hold on tight to:  I hope that I have helped people more than I have hurt them.  I want my time on this planet to be a benefit to people. That means that I have to get my head out of what I want, what I think, and what I think should happen.  I should watch.  I should listen. I should support.  Sounds easy, right?

What chu lookin' at?

Do you want to know what's wrong with you?  Well, just call me up. I will be so ever gracious about it, but I can tell you point by point the things that are holding you back.  

Have you ever felt that sometimes we are so quick to point out the flaws or imperfections of others? However, I'm learning that when I do that, I'm deceiving myself. It's almost like an automatic buffer to the many issues in my own life. It's a free pass. I don't have to focus on examining my own inadequacies, my shortcomings, my sins. It's an open invitation to examine my perception of someone else's. You've got issues? Yea, I know it. Everyone around you does, but do you know what? So do I. So do they.

And then walks in grace.  Grace that led a father to welcome his wayward, prodigal son home with arms open wide. No matter what sins he had committed, there was a place for him at the family table. Grace that led a Savior to stretch out His arms on a cross; hands that were held open to us by nails.

How I want to constantly live in that freedom.  Grace that says its not about anything other than my relationship with my precious Jesus and His people. I think the point is not the issues that we all carry, but loving each other despite them. I want to always strive to become more like Jesus.  However, He's gonna love me the same despite how far short I fall.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

                                                                                                     1 John 4:  7-12

The Boogie Man

I am convinced that the immobilization that accompanies fear brings death to the hopes and dreams of what could be. 

I tend to get comfortable when life clicks at a certain momentum.  I like to know what tomorrow will bring.  It might be busy, but I know its stuff that I've done before.  No sweat. No pressure.  I like that place too. It's like a fluffy, cool comforter.  It's the place where you just want to snuggle in and stay for awhile. The comfortability factor gives me the illusion that I am secure and just where I need to be.


However,  I've come to realize that comfortability can hold me captive if I'm not careful. If I choose to stay comfortable, I will miss the blessings and opportunities that God has in store for me because I will refuse to take risks.  The longer I choose to stay comfortable, the less likely I am to move when opportunities present themselves because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of the boogie man.  Fear, though is not the issue.  Being immobilized because of the fear is the problem.  I am coming to the place where I realize I need to just get comfortable with being uncomfortable because I refuse to be held captive, refuse to be immobilized, and refuse to be marginalized.  


For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

My Daddy's Legacy

One of the toughest things I've ever had to do was to give one of the eulogies at my Daddy's funeral.  I thought I would share how this extraordinary man touched my life...

My father was one of those hard working dads who always knew what to do in any circumstance. No matter what came around the corner, my Daddy would know how to tackle it. He always had a solution for every problem, and he had a way of making the most complicated things seem simple.  That gave me such comfort and security growing up.  I could always count on Dad.  As a little girl, I was in awe of him because he was so strong and confident, and silent.  I remember being a little afraid of him because he was always so quiet.  If I am honest, I was probably a little afraid of Daddy because he always seemed to know when I was getting into mischief. You see, he was engaged and invested in the lives of his family.

My Daddy was adventurous.  We had the best childhood.  It was not unusual for us to be camping, tubing down the Big Black River or hunting deer in the woods.  Daddy made sure I was well vetted in knowing how to run a trot line, shooting a double barrel shotgun and helping skin a deer.  I guess it's not too surprising that I didn't get married until I was almost 30 years old. I found that most men were intimidated by a woman with my particular skill set.  I am sure that was Daddy's plan all along.

My Daddy was tough.  I would often see Dad working on something around the house with multiple bleeding cuts all over his arms and legs.  He would be oblivious to these wounds because he was so focused on taking care of his task.  His family was the most important thing to him, and he was intent on taking care of us.  Whether it was handling some job around the house or helping me and Bobby navigate through childhood struggles, Daddy taught us one of the most important lessons:  to have the courage and tenacity to tackle life.  Passivity was never an option in my house.  Daddy showed us time and time again that we could achieve great things if we just had the courage to believe in something and acted.

My Daddy was loving.  As I grew older, I discovered that he was a very compassionate and kind man. There was never a moment in my life when I couldn't turn to Dad for advice or help.  I remember calling him to tell him and Mom that I was getting married.  We hung up, and Gary and I went out. When I returned later that evening, I noticed a Miller Lite Beer can sitting on the stair railing by my apartment. Inside the can was one single, red rose.  Instinctively, I knew that Daddy had come by. He had driven 6 hours that night just to tell me he loved me. 

My Daddy was generous.  When I got married, I was amazed at how Daddy became the storyteller in our family.  We would sit around the dinner table for hours while Daddy shared stories about his childhood and our family with my new husband.  He wanted to help my new husband feel like a part of our family.  I remember how he also tried to help Gary navigate through our interesting family.  I once saw their two heads together at the family reunion. He was giving my husband advice on how to tackle the ladies at the gaming table. His advice:  "Just be quiet and keep your head down."

My Daddy was a giving grandfather.  My kids have grown up with a special love for their Grandpa. He designated time to take them out to shoot his guns and to ride the 4-wheeler.  He made sure he walked them through his garden to pick tomatoes and peppers. They would walk around the yard eating those treats and just talk about life.  He wanted to create and share experiences that were his and his alone, and he did just that.

Jerry Bob Womack was a man who gave his best in life.  He has shown us how a man should love and honor his wife. His love for my mother has set a standard for us all. He has raised 2 children who love and seek after God with their whole hearts, and he has 3 beautiful grandchildren who will carry on his legacy of compassion, generosity, and tenacity.  I will forever be grateful that we all had the opportunity to be on the receiving end of Daddy's best.

Wired Up

Staying tuned in to the tension of the moment can be a challenging and a humbling experience. I recently read that we tend to rush the tension of the moment in the haste to calm down or resolve an assumed conflict.  That seems natural, doesn’t it? No one likes tension. So the natural tendency is to rush through it to get to the other side. However, should we really focus on the other side or should we focus on the tension itself?  I am coming to a place where I can see that the process is so important to my personal growth.  That means tension is good.  It’s the place where I go to God for grace, direction and wisdom.  It’s the place where I see God at work.  Why do I get anxious about it? My goal? I’m not going to question the process or the tension. I’m going to embrace it. 


If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.  Galatians 5:25